Granny Geek

An hour in a water tank with thousands of toothless fish sucking on your skin will leave you feeling totally refreshed. The critters suck off all the dead skin, leaving a smooth and clear complexion. It’s the ultimate exfoliation.

And it’s all the rage in Asia.

The owners of the Dr. Fish Spa in Malaysia report that the fish “work” in the spa for only a year or so.

This is because as the fish gets bigger, the stronger is its suction power and this can cause discomfort to some people.

Thanks anyhow. Granny thinks she’ll stick to the gentle, old-fashioned, reliable method of exfoliation:

• Cleans more deeply than hand washing, and more gently than cloth towels
• Exfoliates and massages while it cleans pores
• Light and portable, rinses clean and air dries quickly

Check it out!

Yep. It’s the latest offering from Paris. An ankle purse.

The perfect place to carry…you guessed it…your rehab monitor.

Granny is confined to the couch today, after minor foot surgery. We’ve turned off the radio and, for the first time, we’re watching Dr. Phil. We saw part of a Jerry Springer show in an airport several years ago. The two shows are eerily similar.

My, my. Such histrionics. Today on Dr. Phil there’s something called “Man Camp.” Shouting. Name calling. Bleeped profanity. Drinking. Crying. Sobbing. Trash talk. Group abuse. As the show began, the Doctor himself appeared on the screen with the stern warning, “Viewer discretion is definitely advised.”

What a lot of rot. Why would anyone think that airing their dirty linen on a TV program could possibly help resolve their problems? Or their relationship?  And why would anyone trust their problems and their hopes for behavior change to a man who has a questionable career as a psychologist?

“He was a psychologist in private practice for 10 years in the late 1970s through the ’80s, until he had his license suspended for an inappropriate dual relationship with a patient. He didn’t get it reactivated until a month before The Making of Dr. Phil was released, in late 2004 (yup, long after he had reached fame as a TV psychologist). In the intervening 20 years, he was busy with his courtroom consulting firm.”

Perhaps it’s because people will do anything – ANYTHING – to be on TV. To have what Andy Warhol called “15 minutes of fame.”

Here’s the real question, though: why does anyone watch people make such total fools of themselves? Because it makes us feel smarter? Or better about our own lives?  ‘Tis a mystery to us, as is most of what’s on TV these days. B-O-R-I-N-G.

One hour of Dr. Phil is more than enough for one lifetime.

Time to pop in a DVD and watch something interesting.

These are all the rage in Mississippi. They’re called “Koolickles.” We found the recipe and decided to make a batch of them here at Geezer Manor.

Well, the jar of kosher dills has been drained and the brine replaced with cherry Kool Aid. The concoction has sat for about a week in the refrigerator. The result? Dill pickles that taste as if they have been soaking in cherry Kool Aid. Truly awful.

Some recipes suggest that the pickles soak in the Kool Aid for several weeks to improve the taste. We’ll never know. Please wave bye-bye as the Koolickles sink slowly into the garbage disposal.

You know, folks, you just can’t make up stuff like this.

USA Today is reporting a truly bizarre incident involving a Baptist Minister in Tennessee.

The minister of a Baptist church has been charged with indecent exposure and driving under the influence, and police officers say he propositioned them.

Tommy Tester, 58, of Bristol, Va., was wearing a skirt when he was arrested last week after allegedly urinating in front of children at a car wash, police said.

Police also said Tester offered to perform oral sex on officers who were sent to the scene.

Authorities identified Tester as the minister of Gospel Baptist Church in Bristol and an employee of Christian radio station WZAP-AM in Bristol.

Tester also failed all field sobriety tests. He denies all of the allegations, and was released on bond after being charged.

Now, here’s the important question: what kind of skirt does a Baptist Minister wear to the car wash?